i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
