i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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