just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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