Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize