can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
