Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need a burrito and a hug.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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