Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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