why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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