And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
