do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
