Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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