Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
