the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
