writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
