Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
