Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
