remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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