she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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