After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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