do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize