ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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