Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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