She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
