God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
