what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize