its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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