Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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