I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
