I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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