if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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