I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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