If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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