The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
