Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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