I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
