I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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