I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
