I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
