there was a trapeze. enough said
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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