You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You can't special order awesome
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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