If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
