this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
