Soap is not a condiment
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
