I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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