he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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