I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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