you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
