people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
