let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My pussy is not your playground.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
