So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize