He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
