i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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