happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
