No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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