So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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