It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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