I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
