this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
